DISCLAIMER: This is an emotionally motivated post. It’s my Personal Experience with Postpartum Depression. If you don’t feel like crying today scroll down! Everyone else grab some tissues and get ready for this venting session.
On July 28th, 2019 the greatest thing happened to me. My baby girl Mia was born. Leading up to her birth my anxiety was shot through the roof, always thinking and over-thinking about my abilities to be a mom left me extremely insecure. I’ve always had a doubt in just about everything I’ve done in life but, when I first held my daughter I knew I was supposed to be a mom. Everything about being a mom feels wonderful! My daughter is the happiest child I know and she is always smiling and filled with so much love and joy. She makes me feel like a freaking superhero.
With this new blessing, you would think that this fairy tale is perfect right? Wrong! Postpartum Depression crept up on me out of nowhere! It’s like everything I felt so sure about the first 4 months of my motherhood journey, my anxiety automatically questioned. For those of you that don’t know, Postpartum Depression is depression that occurs right after childbirth. I know every new mom’s symptoms are different but, for me, I cry A LOT! I don’t ever show my husband when I’m sad so, I often cry in the closet on I hide in the bathroom away from everyone and just cry. It’s never for long, but releasing that built up emotion helps.
There are little things that onset my Postpartum Blues. Things like overthinking my abilities as a mom, comments, or criticism from loved ones about how I’m handling my child, and not having enough “Adult time”. It all plays a part. Has anyone ever dealt with this or is still dealing with this? I know it doesn’t last for long but boy, it sure does suck! I don’t talk to anyone about my emotions because I’m always the one who is often emotionally stable and the rational thinker of the group. I feel like I always have to keep an extra body of armor up to be strong for those that are around me. This post is open for comments! Please share your stories and how you were able to get over this hump in your motherhood journey!
Writing this post was so therapeutic and raw. I was currently going through emotional woes at the time of me trying to get over writer’s block. For those that took the time to read I appreciate you!