Postpartum Depression – My Personal Experience

DISCLAIMER: This is an emotionally motivated post. It’s my Personal Experience with Postpartum Depression. If you don’t feel like crying today scroll down! Everyone else grab some tissues and get ready for this venting session.

On July 28th, 2019 the greatest thing happened to me. My baby girl Mia was born. Leading up to her birth my anxiety was shot through the roof, always thinking and over-thinking about my abilities to be a mom left me extremely insecure. I’ve always had a doubt in just about everything I’ve done in life but, when I first held my daughter I knew I was supposed to be a mom. Everything about being a mom feels wonderful! My daughter is the happiest child I know and she is always smiling and filled with so much love and joy. She makes me feel like a freaking superhero.

With this new blessing, you would think that this fairy tale is perfect right? Wrong! Postpartum Depression crept up on me out of nowhere! It’s like everything I felt so sure about the first 4 months of my motherhood journey, my anxiety automatically questioned. For those of you that don’t know, Postpartum Depression is depression that occurs right after childbirth. I know every new mom’s symptoms are different but, for me, I cry A LOT! I don’t ever show my husband when I’m sad so, I often cry in the closet on I hide in the bathroom away from everyone and just cry. It’s never for long, but releasing that built up emotion helps.

There are little things that onset my Postpartum Blues. Things like overthinking my abilities as a mom, comments, or criticism from loved ones about how I’m handling my child, and not having enough “Adult time”. It all plays a part. Has anyone ever dealt with this or is still dealing with this? I know it doesn’t last for long but boy, it sure does suck! I don’t talk to anyone about my emotions because I’m always the one who is often emotionally stable and the rational thinker of the group. I feel like I always have to keep an extra body of armor up to be strong for those that are around me. This post is open for comments! Please share your stories and how you were able to get over this hump in your motherhood journey!

Writing this post was so therapeutic and raw. I was currently going through emotional woes at the time of me trying to get over writer’s block. For those that took the time to read I appreciate you!

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14 comments

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  1. alluringmahogany

    Oh my goodness you are strong too momma! Thank you for adding your experience with ppd . Writing this and getting feedback has actually helped me cope with it . I’m getting stronger everyday and my anxiety is suppressing ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  2. Alexandra A

    If you are suffering from postpartum depression you are a survivor! I’ve had it twice, with the second bout of ppd progressing into postpartum psychosis. It’s scary stuff and I hope you have support. Feeling guilty for no reason was hard for me. And being scared to leave my kids.

  3. alluringmahogany

    I loved this ! You just spoke some real Gems 💎! I needed this ! It’s so much I’m learning about myself as I’m growing into a mom. Thank you for reading my post and giving your take on things I appreciate you!!!

  4. Jasmine Patrice

    My girl! I too suffer from PPD or anxiety for many reasons! You’re a great mom and crying is healthy and it definitely helps. I usually do mine in the shower unless it creeps up while I’m driving. Stand up for yourself when it comes to others criticizing things you do as a parent or it will never stop and sometimes gets worse. Just have a conversation with who is doing it. If they don’t stop, you’ve done your part and you just have to mentally prepare yourself for them to possibly continue that behavior. Also you HAVE to make time for adult time or motherhood will eat you alive. Being a mother is definitely great but we all need a break just to keep ourselves together. ❤️

  5. alluringmahogany

    Thank you for this insight! I never put into account that me not saying anything could effect my spouse. I’m trying to be more open and express myself more. Thank you for reading and sharing ❤️

  6. Raimin Holmes

    From a mans perspective it’s a great insight on what a woman can possibly go through after the birth of their child. It’s hard to be honest when you’re having an internal battle. So on be half of men I thank you for this insight, and I’m also praying for your continued uphill fight with this!

  7. Pay

    Great read. Stay positive keep busy and know it’s all temporary and things will get better 10 fold. I can relate. My BM and I split during her Postpartum and it’s been rocky since. Me not knowing what she was dealing with and her not knowing how to cope played a major part. A lot of young moms don’t like to talk about this but its vital and postpartum is something a lot of moms go through and need support while gettin back to themselves. If anybody got this you got this. Remember family first everything y’all do is for baby girl!

  8. Jashlyn

    You are a great mother anyone can ever ask for. I also suffer from anxiety and I learned to not listen to my own negative thoughts at times. Keep doing what you are doing. Your daughter loves you! ❤️

  9. Jashlyn

    You are the best mother that anyone can ask for! I also suffer from anxiety and I learned that you cant always listen to your negative thoughts! Keep doing what your are doing! Your daughter loves you! 🥰

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