Mom Guilt: What is it & How I am dealing with it
As a new mom, I believe that we all have experienced some sort of guilt when it comes to our parenting skills. I question decisions that I have made regarding me being a stay at home mom. I often feel guilty for leaving my job because I know my family could use the extra income. When I started working when my daughter turned 3 months old, I felt the same amount of guilt. After all, I felt like I was missing out on important moments. It is a lose/lose situation every time.
Now that I am a fulltime stay at home wife and mother I make myself believe that I’m expected to be on top of everything. I think I’m supposed to keep a tidy house all the time, care for the baby, tend to our dogs, and cook 5-star meals. That bar is set way too high! Having high expectations like that can make you feel insecure when strides aren’t met.
Our inner dialogue that tells us that we should’ve done differently even though we can’t know if the decision we made was wrong– Mommabirdblog.com
Examples of Mom Guilt
1.) Feeling guilty for wanting to be alone.
2.)Comparing yourself to other moms and not feeling equipped enough to be the “perfect mom”.
3.) Being too tired to keep the house clean.
4.) Not giving the oldest child enough attention because of their new sibling.
Don’t let your thoughts be burdened with negativity. As long as you’re trying your baby is happy!– @RettaJay (A.K.A Me)
Here are 5 Ways That I Stop Negative Thoughts and Stop Mom Guilt
1.) Speak out positive affirmations for the day.
Before I start the day I speak out what type of day I want to have. I push positive reminders in the back of my mind so if I feel overwhelmed I’m able to remain mentally resilient.
2.) Evaluate your triggers and MOVE ON.
Understanding why I’m feeling stressed helps me feel …… less stressed! So what if there are dishes in the sink?! I spent time teaching my little one how to count to three and I’m okay with that. Whatever is currently causing you stress can probably be fixed. Make a mental note of it and keep the day going.
3.) Ask for help!
911 what’s your emergency? Uh, Yes please send help! Yes, it’s okay to ask for help when you are feeling overwhelmed or just tired. Baby needs a healthy mama. Reserve some “Me time” for yourself to regroup. Don’t be too prideful to ask for that time alone. I have had trouble with this and it’s still a work in progress. Whenever I do have some “Me Time” I often like to spend it in complete silence, with a cup of green tea with a few lemon slices in my favorite robe.
4.) Lastly, understand that you are not alone!
when I started having the feelings of “Mom Guilt” I didn’t even know it had a name. I googled my emotions and saw so many stories of different moms all around the world that were experiencing the same feelings that I was. Knowing that I wasn’t alone made me feel so much better. It made me feel like I wasn’t a total f*ck up and that there was hope for me after all!
So mama bears, have you had any similar experiences? If so, share your stories and advice for me and other mamas.
Mental Health Check:
A T T E N T I O N: If you are experiencing bouts of depression please talk to someone close and your physician so that you can get the help that you need. Baby Blues or Postpartum depression is real and should not be taken lightly. If you are experiencing Suicidal thoughts please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255. Stay safe out there Mama Bears!