Growing up I do not remember seeing many black “stay at home moms” in my community. My mother worked, all my Aunties worked and that is what they taught my sister and I. I grew up with a quite different dynamic. My father usually stayed home with us while my mother went to work every day. My father was an entrepreneur of all sorts and pride himself on being his boss. I admired his lifestyle because he had the freedom to create his schedule based on the needs of his family.
When my husband and I first met I worked in the healthcare field as a nursing assistant. I worked at an upscale assistant facility for senior citizens. My usual hours were between 11 pm to 7 am. I often picked up second shift hours as well so that my check would look a little better. 8-12 hour shifts every night were normal for me. As our relationship grew the need for us to live together grew stronger. We started as a long-distance relationship for a few months of our relationship. The weekend rendezvous was not enough for us two love birds. So, I decided to move with him to his duty station.
From Working wife to “Stay at home wife”
From then until I got pregnant, I worked a decent number of hours. I also managed to find work from home gigs. When my husband and I found out we were expecting I stopped working. Many aides in my line of work often have high-risk pregnancies due to the stress of the job. Many miscarry from lifting patients. I did not want to risk that, so I decided to step away until after I had my child. My new title then became “Stay at home wife”. I cooked, cleaned, & did laundry. I tried to create a sense of peace when my husband came home from a long day’s work. I felt that sense of freedom that reminded me of my father. I had a TON of time on my hands and did not know what I wanted to do with it.
See, my husband came home from work but not all the time. It sounds weird I know but hear me out. When my husband got out of the military, he became a truck driver. His hours were exceptionally long sometimes it would be days before we saw each other. This is what made my job easy. Technically I only had myself to cook and clean up after until my husband was home. I had time to myself, time to take naps, time to enjoy SILENCE. My pregnancy was a piece of cake but when my daughter was born BOY that changed quickly!
New “Stay at Home Mom”
When my daughter was born my title changed from “Stay at home wife” to “Stay at home MOM”. I was no longer the queen of my castle she was the boss now. My new boss is very demanding. She has thrown up on me on several occasions and throws food when she is bored. Teething is a drag and groceries do not survive long when she is around. Aside from the extra crying and tantrums, she is pretty adorable and gives the best hugs imaginable. Out of all my jobs and job titles, I enjoy this one the most…. “Ma-Ma”.
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